Texas Divorce Online

Facebook Might Be to Blame for Your Divorce: Sheril Kirshenbaum

In the 1960s, young Americans questioned social traditions one after another, ringing in the feminist movement and celebrating sexual freedom. Today they have become the divorced generation.

While the overall divorce rate in the U.S. has declined over the past 20 years, it has doubled for Americans aged 50 and over. Today, more than one in three in this category has ended a marriage.

No doubt, there have been a variety of causes, including empty nests, midlife crises, better health in late middle age (allowing the energy to pursue extramarital affairs) and even Generation Me’s vaunted desire to remain forever young. But one force that is helping to fracture those marriages has received less attention: the people who are now approaching retirement age were unprepared for an altered technological landscape that allows them to reconnect with long-lost love.

More than 80 percent of divorce attorneys recently surveyed by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers said that in the past few years they have witnessed “an increase in the number of cases using social networking evidence.” Although it is difficult to definitively establish cause and effect here, it seems likely that the divorce rate among baby boomers has been elevated by the Internet.

Nancy Kalish , a professor of psychology at California State University, Sacramento, suspects that online connections may lead to growing numbers of what she terms “accidental affairs,” meaning they involve people who don’t set out to have a physical or emotional relationship outside their marriage. Kalish studies couples who reunite after years apart.

Before there was an Internet, when someone wanted to track down a past love, he or she had to go through the effort of locating a friend or relative to make contact. “Unless they were single, divorced or widowed, they just didn’t typically do that,” Kalish told me.

But now the ghosts of romance past are alive and well online, popping up on chat services and sending greetings on Facebook. In the 21st century, old friends are virtually at our fingertips, and a seemingly harmless email sent to someone with the innocent intention of “catching up” can quickly go further. Many of those who engage in accidental affairs tell Kalish that they had happy marriages before they strayed. “They still bear responsibility for the affairs, of course; no one made them write, call or meet in a hotel room,” Kalish said. “But these are probably people who would not have cheated years ago, even with a lost love.

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